Puppeteer

Author Topic: odering pizza  (Read 587 times)

snowman18

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 216
    • View Profile
odering pizza
« on: March 16, 2020, 12:09:23 AM »

Ordering Pizza In 2020
CALLER:
 Is this Gordon's Pizza?
GOOGLE:   
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number.  Sorry.
 
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordonís Pizza last month.
 
CALLER:
OK.  I would like to order a pizza.
 
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
 
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
 
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
 
CALLER:
OK! Thatís what I want ...
 
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
 
CALLER:
What? I detest vegetable!
 
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
 
CALLER:
How the hell do you know!
 
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.  We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
 
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.
 
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you purchase  only a    box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
 
CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
 
GOOGLE:
That doesnít show on your credit card statement.
 
I paid in cash.
 
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
 
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
 
GOOGLE:
That doesnít show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
 
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
 
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
 
CALLER:
Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
 
GOOGLE:   
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago...

LowGear

  • Casey
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2126
  • What? My diesel had fries for lunch?
    • View Profile
Re: odering pizza
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2020, 01:58:02 AM »
I laughed.  Okay, I'm a bit slow in reading it but it's funny. 

I just sold my Alexa because Google totally up my lower track and I'm trying reduce the data oceans that are taking up all the cheap sources of silica the planet has.
NPR Tipper/Dump Truck
Kubota BX 2230
Witte BD Generator
SunnyBoy 6000 + SolarWorld 245