NOT ENGINE RELATED

[DRDEATH]

T19 I suppose like many males I am guilty of LOOKING AND NOT SEEING, and HEARING AND NOT LISTENING. I have a therapist for myself that I will hope will help me with these. Julie knows she has faults but she has to address those. I need to fix myself then if it will not work then I have tried. I hope I will be afforded enough time to show I am TRUE TO CHANGE. I know it has taken a long time to get to where we are. It just hurts not to see improvement to where I would like to go. Her biggest concern is how long will it LAST. I can say how I have been feeling if I ever get to this point again I hope someone shoots me. I don't think I could deal with the stress. Thank everyone for the encouraging words. I know not everyone marriage can be saved but I think that every marriage would be better if it was saved. Mike DD

[sailawayrb]

It is clearly always best to save a marriage if at all possible.  There is also much more than $$$ to consider…happiness being one factor.  However, it takes two very motivated people to save a marriage.  I think some of the advice given here was for the case that one does everything they can to improve themselves and to save their marriage, but nevertheless the other person isn't equally motivated and this desired outcome can not be achieved.

I have never personally found religion to be significant other than from a purely psychological research perspective.  However, I strongly believe that people should believe in whatever they choose…provided they don't try to force their beliefs onto to other people to achieve some less than noble agenda.  If one considers religion significant and if it helps one live/do right and get thru life easier, that's a very good thing in my book.  Mike, for what it's worth from a non-religious person, I believe you are doing all the right things and I sincerely wish you well.

Bob B.

[contaucreek]

Sorry Mike if you mistook my post as being negative. Believe it or not sometimes things are not our fault. Engines sound like a weak excuse to me . If your woman couldn't stand back and be proud of her mans efforts to help a bunch of virtual strangers realize a dream then I don't know what else to say, the writings on the wall, read it. Mike, life is a journy across stepping stones. Sometimes you think you're at the end of the path only because you can't see the next stone but trust me my LISTER BROTHER, it's there.

[Aberdonion]

Dear Mike: I am very sorry to read about your distress. There is much sage and pithy advice in the posts. Some say 'work together' and some say 'move on'. Perhaps you and your wife could sit together and discuss each post which has been offered with sincerity. There is a range of opinions and as you talk each one through with the focus on what has been said in the post rather than your own opinion, you will start to see that each perspective shines a little light on your situation. By discussing what someone else said removes the finger pointing and fosters a more balanced discussion. I pray for you and wish happiness for you both together.

[DRDEATH]

I have not posted for awhile. I have been going to counseling and I have found that I am not such a bad person. I am still not sure what path my marriage will take but I am getting closer to dealing with what I perceived the negative path when I first posted this. I have found through counseling and faith my original path my not have been such a big negative in my relationship. I still want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of the comments. Even the ones I took as negative at the time. I am not the monster I thought of myself and I do believe that everyone should have some things in their life that make them happy. I was not cheating or going to bars spending my money. Thanks again. Mike DD

[contaucreek]

'ATTA BOY, thats more like it 

[Horsepoor]

Excellent news, now go out to your engine shed and spill time your engine for self satisfaction.

[mobile_bob]

if its any concellation my best friend of nearly 50 years, my youngest brother, and
another friend out here are going through the same problem, nearly exactly the same as you... their wives decided out of the blue that they don't want to be married anymore.

i think it is in the drinking water myself, thankfully my wife would rather go thirsty rather than drink from a tap, so maybe i am safe for a while?

i have told her though that should she feel compelled to kick me to the curb i would have to kill her and bury her in the back yard, i just can't afford another divorce at this point in my life... her response...

"not if i kill  you first and bury you in the back yard"!



(upon reflection i think that i may be the one pushing up daisies in the back yard, she is in much better shape than me, much quicker and probably stronger too)

so i best better be saying "yes dear a lot"!



bob g

[Ratman]

Good god!!!!!! I've read some doom and gloom but this lot beats it all. 
I do what I want and me dorris does what she wants, and we do some stuff together, job sorted.
I could not tollerate a wife that tried to control me.
Come on you lot, sing along.......Always look on the bright side of life

[bschwartz]

How do insert the whistling?

[Ratman]

How do insert the whistling?

Here you go 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ECUtkv2qV8

[sid]

dr.death,,, glad you are making progress. it seems that this is a common problem with couples in their 50--60 years......I never understood what was happening when you would hear about a perfect couple that went their seperate ways after so many years together..10 years ago I woke up one morning and found out I was the biggest s.o.b in the world and my wife wanted me gone,,we had never had a serious argument in 30 years,,,after months of counsling therapy etc I found out....why are you here...every thing seemed normal....you do not have the problem...it seemed the dr, had given my wife a double douse of depaveria?///it made her crazy and when i question the dr, the idiot gave her another one. they were long lasting.3 months for each....it took several years for everything to get back to normal////////now everthing is almost back to normal but the pain is still deep inside/// just got back suday night after 11 days in Berlin and my wife cried for almost an hour because she was so glad I was back. so there is a future,,///dr.death I will see you in portland in 6-7 weeks////you have my #///sid

[AdeV]

you have my #

That means something completely different over here in Britain...  - hmm, maybe this smiley will help:

[sid]

we talk on the phone so he has my phone # and he can call me anytime.we were suppose to meet in portland last august but it did not work out so we are trying for may...sid