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Author Topic: NOT ENGINE RELATED  (Read 17559 times)

DRDEATH

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NOT ENGINE RELATED
« on: February 25, 2011, 05:29:02 AM »
This topic is not engine related but it is to the largest group of friends I have. Life is a wonderful experience and yet it can take you to the lowest form of living anyone would care to experience. I say this because I am at that point right now. It might seem strange to have a post like this but I do consider the many people who I have never met to be some of my closest friends.
 
I have come to a time in my life that half of my heart and all of my soul seems shattered. I don't believe it is a weakness when a man turns to his friends in a time of need. I feel that is what friends are for.

Who I am most upset at is myself that I have had blind eyes and deaf ears when someone so very special in my life was speaking. God teaches us to be kind and listen to others needs and it seems I have been anything but that. Why is it that the people we love the most get treated the worse.

I had a rude awakening a week ago and as it is not official it seems it could go that way any day. So I just continue to wake up and wonder if this is the day the remainder of my heart will be destroyed.

I hope and pray that anyone who is married will remember that having and playing with engines or any other hobby to some extent needs to be OK with both parties. It is not the engines or the hobbies that has caused this but the relationship I have put towards the hobbies that has caused this. I know that in the future if I do something my wife is not interested in I will pay closer attention to her and less of the hobby.

I guess my request from this post would be that anyone who has a relationship with God to think about me and maybe remember me in a prayer that Gods will be done in my marriage. It will be the only way it is healed.

If you don't pray an encouraging word would be helpful also. Since I don't have family close by my largest source of support is with this forum.

I am sure what ever the outcome I will survive I just hope I will be allowed a second chance to survive happily. Thank you, Mike DD  :( :(
     

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mobile_bob

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2011, 06:23:37 AM »
Mike

both of you are in my thoughts and yes, even my prayers!

not sure God listens to me much on what i want for myself, but he seems to
listen to me when i ask for things for others.

pay attention to the wife, this place will be here when you get back, and these engine's
have been around for decades, so i am sure they will be around long after we are gone.

bob g
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Lister Rob

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2011, 06:56:36 AM »
 
 Very nice words.

listerboy

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2011, 12:51:18 PM »
Mike,

Family, and secondly friends, are our most precious God-given possessions. In the long run, nothing else matters. Remember, "you can't take it with you"! Our knowledge and relationships are the only things that will accompany us through the thin veil between this life and the next.  I see remorse in your words and that's the start of the healing process. God will always give you a second chance, only time will tell if others will.

I'm praying for you Buddy.

Dave

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2011, 03:15:18 PM »
Mike; somethings we all need to do more often; count our blessings and reassess our deepest priorities. I hope you can give it another chance and time for both to think together about the future.
Frank

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bschwartz

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2011, 08:36:26 PM »
I'm not much on words, so let me just say that my heart is with you Mike.
Let me know if there is anything I can do.

-Brett
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sid

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2011, 10:25:49 PM »
All I can say is that I have been there and it worked out. I have you in my prayers and if any way I can help... you have my phone #   /sid
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br549

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2011, 11:01:38 PM »
Mike:
You are so right in your observations in your post.  We all tend to stray from the things that are the most important to us at times.  I also consider you to be a friend, even though we have never met.  I believe you have the tools to get your marriage back on track.  The most important things are your intentions and ability to re-evaluate and identify your mistakes.  That's the hardest part.  The important part is to make it clear to yourself and your wife through your actions on a daily basis, what is important in order to keep your bond.  Feel free to contact me any time. You have many friends here on the forum that want you to succeed.
Terry

LowGear

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2011, 11:11:57 PM »
Hi Mike,

I used to present adult education classes.  I almost always invited the students to try and think of the people in the class as friends and relatives so they wouldn't have to worry about how they acted or what they said as we all know that we treat strangers with too much respect and the people we love with not nearly enough.  Not always well received to say the least. 

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Jetpilot

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2011, 11:27:38 PM »
Mike,
I'm not much on words myself, but you recognizing and admitting what you have going on is the biggest step to making things turn out the way they need to, and as I see here, you have a lot of friends hoping for the best, including me. 

Be good, and take you wife to dinner.


Derek

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2011, 12:40:58 AM »
Hi Mike, As chaplain for our volunteer fire department, I'd like to believe I have a good connection with God. I will keep you and your wife in my prayers and also pray that you develop your own relationship with him too. The gospel of John is a good place to start reading, it worked for me. If you'd like to talk PM me. Be blessed!
Tom
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cgwymp

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2011, 01:36:14 PM »
Hi Mike,
Just remember to continually ask yourself, "What is the best thing I can do RIGHT NOW, in this moment, to make the next moment and the future the best is can be, both for myself AND for those around me?" If you're mindful of that for every decision you make, you will have done your absolute best and lived the best life you can live. It's not always easy and things may not always work out the way you want, but you will have tried your best and that's the most anyone can ask. You'll be in my thoughts and well-wishes!
Listeroid 8/1

DRDEATH

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2011, 01:56:17 PM »
I know no single word that could explain the strength I have received from everyone here. It is very hard to give an update since it seems very negative.

I hope me posting this will not be boaring but I did want to share one thing. Beside the monster I have seem to become I was also informed by Julie my wife that she had no intentions of going back to church and felt God was not the choice. That just about finished the destruction of me because I knew God was the only way something good would come of this.

Julie did inform me that the only time she ever got a spiritual filling was when she was back in her hometown from a Pentecostal church. So I had time yesterday and I looked through the phone book and sure enough we have one in our town. I called and of course got an answering machine. It was like calling the suicide hot line and you get a recording to call back.

Anyway last evening I received a call from the minister and his first words were Mike I know you. It turns out since his church is smaller he has to supplement his income and he works at the automotive section at our Wal-Mart, and another friend who also works there also goes to the church.

So I guess in my quest I have found somewhere different that maybe Julie might decide to go to someday we will have friends. What ever the outcome I plan to use this chance to make myself a better person and hopefully God will perevent a bad outcome before Julie sees I have changed.

THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE. Mike DD   

PS just so no one worries I have no plans to try doing back flips down the aisle of the church
Breast cancer kills. It takes money to save lives.

mobile_bob

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2011, 03:46:26 PM »
Mike:

bear in mind there are many ways up the mountain!

whatever church or religion that draws one closer to God is the "right" religion
for that person, beit buddist, (much as i hate to say it) muslim, the various christian churches, and even those that we might look to as being pagan (not satanist, but those that look to a singular higher power), and yes even pentecostal.

your wife admitting to you that she found solace at a pentecostal church tells me she is open to God and as such has an opening for you in her life as well.

at least she is acting in a much more positive way than my first wife, who had no religious beliefs at all, and had no interest after doing no more than was necessary for us to be married in the church.  very hard to make a marriage work if one has a belief and the other has not even a shred of belief.

do what you feel is right, stay consistent, talk to the man upstairs, and have faith that
things will work out as they are planned by the dude that has control of the cards.

if you ever need to talk, just pick up the phone, you have my number.

bob  g
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DRDEATH

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Re: NOT ENGINE RELATED
« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2011, 04:30:24 PM »
Thank you Bob. Phone conservations are still a little difficult. Mike DD BTW when is you ETA to Kansas. It might be good since my daughter lives in Lawrence and my wife could go on up there and spend some time with the grandchild when the unpacking gets done.
Breast cancer kills. It takes money to save lives.