I have developed a revolutionary new concept for emergency shutdown of a Lister type diesel engine. The device can be constructed from materials at hand for mere cents.
Functional Parts
1. Smelly Cheese sitting on engine
2. Mouse Attracted to smelly cheese
3. Cat attraced to mouse attracted to smelly cheese
4. Dog sleeping
5. Old boot attached via string to shutoff lever of engine
Setup
1. A piece of smelly cheese is placed on the rocker arm cover of the engine.
2. This in turn attracts a mouse to the engine, but due to the fact that all properly maintained listeroid engines develop a protective covering of oil and grease, the mouse is unable to climb up and get the cheese. The mouse sets up housekeeping nearby.
3. A cat is attracted by the presence of the mouse, and sets up camp to get the mouse.
4. A dog is kept nearby because federal law requires that cats need a dog nearby to keep them honest.
5. A boot is attached via string to the shutoff lever of the engine.
Operation
1. In the event of engine overheat, the cheese will begin to melt and run down the engine.
2. The mouse, seeing his chance will come out of his hole and start eating the cheese.
3. The cat seeing the mouse, tries to catch it. It is a well known fact that anything within shouting distance of a properly maintained Listeroid will become covered with oil. The mouse, having lived near the engine has a protective covering of oil which prevents the cat from catching the mouse.
4. The cat after having been robbed of a tasty meal of mouse, begins to caterwaul bemoaning his loss.
5. The dog after having been rudely awakened from a nap begins to bark at the cat telling him to "shut up".
6. The wife or neighbor upon hearing the ruckus picks up a boot and heaves it at the nearest offender.
7. The string attached to the boot pulls the cutoff lever and shuts down the engine.
The operation in the case of overspeed is similar except that the vibrations of the engine will shake the cheese so that it falls off and the procedure begins at step 2 above.
April 1, 2008 Martin Nile
