Mrs is going out with the girls tonight and won't be home till late. Looks like it's Fish and chips for Dinner! Fish shop down the road is great but she won't let me have it too often.
She tells me it's Haloween. Yeah, not even sure what that is? She tells me little children may come to the door dressed up in fantasy costumes asking if I want them to turn tricks or I should give them lollies she has put in a bowl I'm not allowed to eat. She said be nice to them and not your grumpy self.
What in the hell???
I have NO interest in little kids, don't even really like the snot nosed whiney little buggers especially when there is always one screaming their head off in the shopping centre or at any restaurant I go to.
I know there are a lot of weidos out there and the cops have to catch them but I think this is taking sting operations a bit too far and reaks of entrapment for unsuspecting twits like me who never had a clue about this. In any case, WTF would I want to give them Chocolates and attract them round the place like Seagulls? No thanks! They can bugger off back to their own homes and annoy the guts out of their own parents.
I'm also now thinking the Mrs wants me out the way seeing SHE bought the chocolates and told me to give them to the small children. Yeah, that would sound legit when the cops arrested me wouldn't it? " My wife bought the chocolates, went out tonight and told me to give them to any little Kids that came to the door" Yeah sure Mate, you are going to have at least 10-12 years to be telling that story!
Even I know that's what the low lifes do and has to be illegal right there and could get a person locked up. If she starts talking about us buying a White van and me parking it near schools, I'm out of here! She definitely wants me out the way!!
Maybe she has finally found a decent bloke and has got tired of waiting for me to off myself and the only people she knows that could do the job for her are my mates... some, but maybe not all of whom may have reservations or tell me.
Maybe I better start buying her flowers?
Come to think of it, why is she going out with " The GIRLS" on a week night? Why are little kids coming to my door at night and in the middle of the week? I smell more than Fish and Chips going on here! Clearly I have some serious marital problems I have overlooked!
Anyone comes knocking at my door tonight and there is no way in hell I'm answering it!!
Certainly won't be giving kids Chocolates at any time when I can sit here and eat them myself. That's another thing, She NEVER buys me any chocolates and when I come home with any myself, I get read the riot act. Any she buys she hides on the lowest shelf in the pantry where I have to get down on my hands and knees to find them. Now she is putting them out in a bowl right on the Coffee table.
I'm thick as 2 Planks but something's definitely not right here!
I know this thing comes from the US but I never realised there were so many weirdos out there praying on Children that they had to have a sting operation this big to catch them. Seems the local cops have taken the idea on here too.
The motives are good but I sure question the way they are going about catching these low lifes using little kids as bait!!