Aw glort,
Where's you sense of humor and love of fun.
"Oh yes, yes. Please make the check out to Mr.Ripley. He'll be so thrilled you trusted him with an over payment. He'll be sure and get that amount right back to you. I'll take the ad down as the money for the heart medicine is on the way. Thank you so much." (That's Ripley of "Believe it or Not" fame here in the states.
or
"I'm so glad you phoned back on Sunday night from Microsoft just to help me with my computer. Let me transfer your call to IT. Hello? Hello? I guess we were disconnected?" (This is where you get to practice you best Indian dialects.) When Joan hears me hacking their beautiful dialect she says "Oh, your friends again."
or
"Look butt-wipe, I screw people all fuc*ing day long down at the used car lot so please don't call me after dark and give me this bullshit pitch. How about a little professional courtesy! Now fuc*-Off!" They rarely hear the closing salutation as they're laughing too hard. Spreading joy is an art.
or
"It's a shame you have to deploy to the Middle East at the end of the month Sergeant but I'd be proud to help an enlisted man sell his like new Lister self starting generator for $257. I understand having to use catalog photos because you loaned your camera to your sister for high school graduation in a wheel chair. Now what's the address I send the certified check to so your buddies can air lift the Lister from Italy to Hawaii just as soon as the check clears. Wow! It's just what I want and need. Mom's iron lung will never stop running again. God Bless you for making America Great Again!!!"
I believe this is called making lemonade when your given lemons. I kind of look forward to these moments of creative telephoning or emailing now. Attitude is an important part of just having fun. Some folks just might call it an IQ test.
My longest dribble in some time. Not the glort novelette but still pretty good for me.