A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO WAL-MART.
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for mu loyal pet, Jake, the
Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had a elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probable shouldn't, because I ended up in the Hospital last
time, but that i'd lost 50 pounds before wakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way it works is, to load your pants pockets
with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone
in line was now enthralled with my story)
Horrified she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me, I told her no, I
stopped to pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard
Wall-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. The have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to
say.
Forward this (especially) to all retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day.